And the average online dater spends 12 hours a week at the endeavor.“It really feels like a full-time job sometimes,” says Frances Correa, a 24-year-old reporter, who lives in Northwest Washington and stopped online dating after four years.And you’re less likely to commit to that option,” Finkel says.“It’s like, ‘Eh, there’s something better out there,’ or ‘I’m overloaded.’ ” The online dating industry’s reliance on profiles is what Finkel calls its “first original sin.” People naturally try to present a polished version of themselves, often stretching the truth on matters such as age, weight and height.She fitted none of his top criteria — “He said he liked baseball, grilling and political activism,” she recalls.“At the time, I was a vegetarian and knew nothing about baseball and cared very little for politics” — but they fell in love and were married less than two years later.
Four years ago Sunday, Andrew Martin and Julie Ciamporcero Avetta were matched on e Harmony.
Once, she met a man online who was a yoga enthusiast who owned the same books she did.
“We met in person, and there was actually no chemistry.” Online dating also differs from traditional courtship in that people get to know one another before they meet, trading e-mails and photos.
When people exchanged e-mails for three weeks before meeting, the study says, they had a stronger attraction to their date in person, but if the correspondence went on for six weeks, the attraction level fell when they met.
“When it goes on too long you get too lofty an impression of what a person is like, or too particular,” Finkel says. “In the beginning, I had these long, flowery e-mail relationships, and then I met the person and it was like, ‘Oh, my God. ’ ” Now she meets men in person as soon as she can.
“Maybe after 50 different guys you’ve been conversing with, one might be worth a date.” What’s more, it’s not always good to have more choices.